10 Things Your Man Doesn't Want You To Know

Woman often tell themselves that they need to keep some secrets from their men.

The same applies to the male folks. There are certain things that your woman should never find out about you. For instance, she doesn’t need to know about the hot girl who works at your office, and you don’t want her to know that you cried for a week after your ex dumped you.

Keeping some information to yourself might help keep her honest, and also save you from the risk of public embarrassment.

1. How many people they’ve slept with

This is one of those things no one should ask anyone else. Everyone worries that their number is too low or too high. Just internalize all that anxiety and never speak about it, because you will get in a fight over it.

2. They can get emotional too

Men are pretty good at suppressing their emotions. Ladies should realize that “You are nice” might not be that romantic for you, but for some guys it’s the emotional equivalent of a perfectly-composed sonnet.

3. They’re self-conscious about their penises

If they’re not worried about size, they’re worried about shape, or color, or gradient, or whatever. Guys think about their penises a lot.

4. How often they masturbate

Men jerk off more than they’re willing to admit to you. If you ask them how often they masturbate, take that number and multiply it by 100.

5. They get texts from their exes

It’s not like they feel guilty or even respond, but if an old flame texts them, they’re sweeping that one under the rug. It’s not worth bringing up.

6. Literally anything about their porn habits

This stuff is private. Treat internet histories as confidential, for your sake as well as his.

7. They like hanging out with you, even when they don’t act like it.

They might drag their feet shopping, or roll their eyes when you suggest going to see a romantic comedy. But they’re happy to be there because you’re there. They’ll just never admit it.

8. They might think other girls are kind of attractive sometimes.

Men are very visual. They might notice a pretty woman walk by but it doesn’t mean they’re unhappy or hate you. If you ask if they think a particular person is pretty and they say, “I get why other people find her attractive, but I just don’t see it,” they are lying through their teeth.

9. They have a whole collection of manscaping tools.

It’s best if you don’t know what weird ear/nose/body/pubic hair they have to trim regularly.

10. They have embarrassing things in our iTunes libraries.

There’s some stuff on there that they’d rather you not find. It might be a romantic playlist from an ex. Either way, it’s going to be embarrassing if you find that stuff.